This is another from the Young Writers Project. This one was illuminated by the keywords the author chose as well…. college applications and sleep deprivation, frustration, if only i were brave enough
Dear Colleges by three guesses
I do not seek to pretend
that I know any more or less
than anyone else and I am not trying to tell you
that I am better-smarter-nicer-stronger
I am trying to tell you I do not like lines
or staying inside
I am trying to tell you
that I am unique
just like every single other person
who puts their five hundred words into this form
I am trying to say that I do not want to suppress it
I am not trying to tell you that
I am any good at poetry and I am not trying to tell you
that I will major in English and write poetry
for the rest of my life
I am trying to say that sometimes
line breaks make more sense to me
and sometimes I have trouble with rhythm
but if you’ve read this far then you’ve probably figured that out
I am trying to say that I am not afraid of taking risks
I do not know why you ought to pick me
over candidate X or candidate Y
you’re the only one who knows what you’re looking for after all
and if this isn’t it then you aren’t looking for me
hello I had some crazy experiences and learned some life lessons and I want to change the world and I didn’t want to write this essay and I hope you like me and I hope you want me to come to school and I hope you give me money so I can– no.
that is not what this should be about.
this is about me,
raw and unrestrained and unfiltered
and if you do not want this then you do not want me
would you like to know who I am?
I am late nights studying after adrenaline-high-inducing performances I am low E to high A I am cats and greyhounds and classical music on rainy days I am color-coded flashcards and anxiety and AP tests and dropped cell phones I am soprano or alto or tenor (depending where you want me) I am oversleeping and laughing with friends and tipping fifty percent I am politics and theatre and nerves and green tea and honey and very bad dancing I am tired I am full of joy I am nothing if I am not this I am alive.
I will come and I will dance about your campus singing showtunes, splashing in puddles, sitting quietly with headphones beneath a tree reading Shakespeare just for fun. I will write notes in paragraphs and add my voice to your discussions and reevaluate my own opinions and make friends with my ideological opposites. I will harmonize, quietly, my own little tune to whatever melody you already have written up and I’ll try my best to make it beautiful.
If you don’t want that, then you don’t want me.
So the choice is yours and I’m out of words